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| Quick digital sketch I made for this article. :) |
When I was in university, I couldn't wait to get it over and done with. I thought once I graduate, things will go pretty smoothly. Prospective employers will examine my resume filled with extracurricular activities, I get a job, make money, gain independence, have time to just drink wine with friends. You know the drill.
I graduated some time in 2015 and I'm still in my early 20s now but the first few years after I went head first into real life were really tough which is why I only found the time to write about it today.
You may find yourself able to relate to some of these but it's entirely objective so take it with a grain of salt.
1. Comparing yourself too much to others can be toxic.
Comparing the process and performance or "benchmarking" someone isn't entirely a bad thing but it can be if paired with the wrong mindset. Let's say someone at work is doing better than you and all you keep getting is bad rap. Sometimes you'll feel pressured to be like that person and you'll end up struggling to follow his or her ways.
I've seen both ends. Me struggling to follow someone's ways and someone struggling to follow my ways.
Realize that you can only adopt what a person does to an extent and there are things that each individual can do better. You have the capability to execute something much different. Always remember to add a touch of "you" in everything you do.
If you do decide to benchmark someone, find his or her core. Maybe this person just simply loves what he or she does and all you need to do is chill and give a little more love as well. It'll show in your work.
2. If it doesn't feel right, don't settle.
Being a slave shouldn't really be a trend. It's the 20th century! Whether it's an unfulfilling job or an unfulfilling relationship, you shouldn't settle. By not settling with it, I don't mean just throwing it out the window since doing so will leave a bad taste in your mouth. Trust me, I've done it that way.
There are two ways to go about this and you should do it in this manner:
- Assess the situation. Try to find out ways to make things better and communicate it.
- If fit doesn't work out, maybe it's not for you.
Some elders complain that young people these days are quick to quit their job but let's face it, there's just more out there. Do not be a slave to a job or slave to money. When it comes to relationships. A relationship won't always be rainbows and butterflies but the most important factor to consider is both parties have trust and allow each other to grow. If it lacks those things, then it's understandable if you want to end it.
3. Breaks aren't bad from time to time.
The cruel, blunt reality is you work (or run a business) until you're about to die. Not until you die unless you don't have a retirement fund. I saw a video somewhere that sums up the stages in life. I tried my best to find it. However, I can't at the moment. I'll get back to this once I do.
What I recall is the following:
-Stage where you are too young to do anything - baby to toddler age
-Stage where you have the freedom to do some things but only to an extent - teenage years mostly
-Stage where you can do anything - this would be starting from the early 20s above where you have the time and financial capability to do what you like
-Stage where you're too old to do anything - your health is compromised
In relation to number 2, find the time to experience fulfilling things when you can. Life is pretty short. Why spend your lifetime doing something monotonous?
4. It's not a bad idea to ask for help
I'm not the sort of person who just ask people for help whenever I want. I mostly do what I can if I feel like I can do it myself but sometimes I end up struggling alone.
There are indeed some things that you can't do by yourself. I guess this is why we co-exist with fellow humans. Just make sure to make up for it.
5. Accept criticisms like a champ
You must be aware that other people are aware of you and what they might be saying is true. When someone criticizes you, take some time to criticize yourself too. Don't simply lash out. If what they're saying is false, you have the freedom to defend yourself in a decent manner. If it is true, don't be disheartened, make it a motivation and opportunity to do better. Appreciate the person and leave a little thanks. Whenever I would fail interviews, I would think back about what I did wrong and would correct these mistakes I realized in the next and it definitely works!
6. Knowledge is the best investment
So you want to do something you're passionate about or something that can contribute to your well-being, in order to do so, you must take the chance to invest in learning these things. Just make sure you are passionate about it and it's priced accordingly.
The more you know, the more doors open up to you!
I always wanted a multimedia arts or a fine arts degree but the closest university my parents were willing to pay didn't have any of these so I took up marketing management. I don't feel any less grateful to my parents though. I appreciate my learnings in that course, the people I met and my university and organization for giving me a partial scholarship for drawing in the school paper.
I still found myself wanting to do something artsy after college but the opportunities were pretty slim due to my lack in knowledge and/or background. My parents saw potential in me and let me take a certificate course in Graphic Design at First Academy of Computer Arts. You can contact them through their Facebook as well.
The investment was worth it and I found myself getting invitations to artsy jobs and whatnot. Now I'm in a great company.
7. Going to an educational institution doesn't really make one "well-read".
Just because you were schooled doesn't really make you "educated" or "well-read". Being well-read means having a broader perspective not just with facts but also in dealing with people and assessing situations. Sometimes we find ourselves having a short fuse when the grocery line is too long, the traffic is too bad or someone is too loud or unenthusiastic. The reason why we are like this is because of the mindset "I am the center of the universe and this is too inconvenient for ME" - that kind of selfish thought is our default setting. Being well-read means having the capability to perform beyond the default setting. To put it in more simple terms, being more understanding.
Maybe the situation is inconvenient for everyone or maybe someone's going through something worse than you. Just have more awareness. We are like gold fishes in a water tank and you have to be aware of the water.
Having the mantra "This is water" will help. This is something I learned from David Foster Wallace's speech of the same name.
8. Save up as early as you can
I spent some time being a financial advisor. Though I wasn't passionate about the job (sorry past clients). I did take the lessons to heart. It's been such an eye-opener. Even though life is short we have to deal with it practically or prolong your "suffering".
These are some of the worst case scenarios of not being able to save up:
- Spend all the money you have, a retirement will be almost impossible and you'll end up working until you die. Get a passive income. Stocks? Forex? Get educated
- You might lose your job and have nothing to spend when trying to find another job. Nothing is permanent, you can either mess up at work or your company can end up bankrupt. Who knows right?
Better have an emergency fund. Fill up your debit account for immediate needs.
- You might leave your family in debt. There are two things that your family can also remember you for. if you; leave them with money or leave them in debt. Which one do you choose? Get insurance if you love the people you can possibly leave behind. It's your legacy.
9. Real meaning of assets and a liability
Again, related to finance. When I would ask people the difference between an asset and a liability, they are often reluctant to answer. Most of those who do understand it this way: assets are everything you own and liabilities are everything you owe. This isn't exactly wrong but it doesn't offer much value in your personal life. Another way to look at it is assets are everything you own that makes you profitable and liabilities are everything you "own" (again) but doesn't make any profit.
Having the latest Starbucks planner is mostly a status symbol but it doesn't make you truly rich. Climbing up that social ladder isn't the only thing that matters.
10. Invest in your health
Cut off the junk you're putting in your body if you don't want it biting you back by giving you an illness of some sort. That's gonna be a huge expense in the long run. I don't mean going to expensive organic boutiques though you can if you want. There are other ways to be healthy on a budget. More water etc. Look it up.
Hope you like this article overall. I am not much of a writer but I hope it's all clear to you. Feel free to contact me if you want to ask questions or offer some feedback. :)
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